Why the Star Wars Trains are the death of Lionel

One of my hobbies and interests that I’m planning to write about regularly on this blog is model trains, more specifically, 3-rail O-Scale. Of course, you can hardly go 5 minutes in the hobby without hearing the name Lionel. Lionel has a rich 126 year history, and they’ve made some truly great locomotives, rolling stock, and accessories in that period. The milk car has to be one of the most memorable. For those unfamiliar with the car, when you press a button, a tiny milkman will come out of a boxcar and place a jug of milk onto a trackside platform. This accessory is simple, yet it’s mesmerizing and has a toylike charm while remaining grounded in reality. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Lionel’s latest product line, Star Wars themed trains. Now, before we go any further, I think I should make an important clarification. I’m not opposed to the idea of trains branded for non-railroad related IPs. In fact, a log car labeled for Lincoln Logs is one of my favorite pieces of rolling stock. However, the Star Wars trains are truly idiotic and I’m not sure why anyone thought that they were a good idea. The idea seems good on paper, Star Wars is an incredibly popular franchise, and Lionel can make a ton of money off of selling model trains based off the movies. Sadly, this idea fails hard in practice. For starters THERE AREN’T EVEN ANY TRAINS IN THE STAR WARS MOVIES!!! The Polar Express for instance works because it’s a movie about a train, but Star Wars doesn’t have any trains in it, and thus Star Wars-branded model trains don’t work. Secondly, the Star Wars-branded trains Lionel is making are just standard Lionel locomotives and rolling stock with Star Wars graphics. Sci-Fi themed trains are a cool idea, but because Lionel was being lazy, the trains that are supposed to be “In a galaxy far, far, away.” are just American trains from the 1950’s. Lastly, and this is probably the biggest reason, the Star Wars brand image and the Lionel brand image just don’t mix.